


Caterpillars

by postinghumorouslyposthumously



Series: Drown To Me; Dance With Me [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Comfort, Crying, Dancing, Fluff, Insecurity, Love, M/M, Set in U.S, Social Anxiety, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Viktor is a College Senior, Viktor is a Dance/Theater Double Major, Yuuri is A Dance Major, Yuuri is a College Junior, stage fright, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 14:37:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16160900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postinghumorouslyposthumously/pseuds/postinghumorouslyposthumously
Summary: Anxiety gets in Yuuri's way a lot. It's the worst when it gets in the way of dancing. Throwing Viktor into the picture just makes everything a lot more complicated. And then a lot better.-





	Caterpillars

**Author's Note:**

> Do I really even have to say that this is unedited? My impatient ass doesn't know her.  
> (Will probably come back to edit later :)
> 
> It's also pretty short, but I really wanted to get something up because I haven't posted anything for a little while, and because y'all really liked the last one. So, here you go! Some more mind numbing fluff with our two very cute dancer boys! 
> 
> Come talk to me on Tumblr if you want! It's: tastethemotherfuckingrainbow 
> 
> See bottom notes for Yuuri's dance routine.

“I don’t know about this, Viktor…” 

Yuuri drawled nervously, wringing his hands. His stomach was filled with caterpillars. Not butterflies. This was no cute, fluttery, flakey croissant nervousness that took two deep breaths to quell. This was big, fat, squirming, wriggling caterpillars moving around in his stomach, causing him to want to run away and puke.  

Viktor gave him a big smile. 

“Nonsense, this is going to be great!” 

Yuuri looked off to the side, unconvinced. 

Viktor held out his phone, earbuds already plugged in. 

“Just put these in and close your eyes.” 

Yuuri took the earbuds and did as he said. Music started playing in his ears. Adele’s,  _ Someone Like You.  _

_ Was Viktor trying to make him cry _ ? 

Then he felt Viktor slip the phone into Yuuri’s pocket. Viktor gently took his hands, and lead him a few steps to the right. Probably so that they were standing close to the middle of the courtyard, if not in the exact middle. 

Viktor slipped his hand around Yuuri’s back and Yuuri’s hand found Viktor’s shoulder. Viktor held on to his other hand, and Yuuri definitely was not shaking slightly as they started moving. He kept his eyes shut tightly, letting himself be lead in a slow waltz. 

He felt Viktor’s face near his, their cheeks brushing occasionally. Yuuri wanted to bury his face in Viktor’s shoulder. He took a breath, and hoped it wasn’t that audible. He focused on the music, and kept his eyes closed, mouthing along to the words, and imagined they weren’t in the middle of their college campus, next to a main road, students and professors walking to and from all the places students and professors went. 

This was nothing. This should be nothing. Viktor  _ literally  _ sings and dances his heart out in crowded places  _ all  _ the time. He gave him a  _ lapdance  _ in the middle of the mess hall! This should be  _ nothing _ . 

Yuuri swallowed, felt himself stumble slightly, and his cheeks burned. He imagined how stupid he looked. Eyes closed, earbuds in his ears, waltzing with Viktor on this random Tuesday afternoon at 2:00pm. 

This had been Viktor’s idea to help him with stage fright. 

The Adele song came to an end, and John Legend’s  _ All of Me _ came on next. 

Yuuri’s breath hitched slightly. Viktor took out one of his earbuds. Yuuri’s eyes opened, looking up to meet Viktor’s. 

Viktor put the earbud in his own ear, smiling slightly when he heard the song.

Now that Yuuri’s eyes were open, he couldn’t close them. They stayed trained on Viktor’s, anything else around them blurry and out of focus. 

Yuuri practically melted when Viktor started singing softly. 

Their dancing had devolved from waltz, to spinning in slow circles, arms wrapped around each other, movement for the sake of movement. 

“ _ ‘Cause all of me / loves all of you / love your curves and all your edges / all your perfect imperfections _ ,” Viktor sung, his mouth tilting up into a soft smile. 

Yuuri stared up at him, then slowly broke into his own smile. 

Viktor hummed, grabbing one of Yuuri’s hands and sending him into a spin. Yuuri did easily, the movement ripping out the earbuds, sending them flying, then dangling uselessly, music still pouring from the speakers but barely audible. Yuuri’s back hit Viktor’s chest. Viktor caught him, kissed his cheek, then spun him around again to delve back into a waltz, faster this time, more grandiose and dramatic. 

Yuuri laughed, a full body action, throwing his head back. Their music was Viktor humming now, not any tune Yuuri recognized. 

Yuuri giggled, and he saw Viktor’s face split into the biggest smile he had ever seen, and that was saying something for the man who was almost constantly smiling. 

Viktor spun him around again, but this time when Yuuri collided back into his chest, he saw a small group of students had stopped and were watching them, some of them filming. 

Yuuri froze, caught his breath, smile slowly slipping off his face as his cheeks started to heat up and shyness started to creep up on him. 

Viktor pressed a kiss to his temple, then stepped out from behind him, taking a large bow and laughing slightly. 

“You guys are so cute!” One girl exclaimed, lowering her phone. “Is it okay that I took a picture?” 

Viktor grinned at her. 

“Sure!” 

Yuuri inched slightly behind Viktor, gathering up the abandoned earbuds that had been swinging around wildly, still connected to the phone in his pocket as they danced. Yuuri took the phone out now and stopped the music. 

The other students dissipated, walking on and leaving them alone. Viktor turned back around to Yuuri. He smiled at him, reaching out and taking his hand. 

Yuuri gave him a slight smile. 

“Thanks, Viktor,” he said, cheeks still red. 

Viktor crowded closer to him, bringing his other hand up and using two fingers to tilt Yuuri’s chin up. He kissed him softly, eyes falling closed. Yuuri exhaled, relaxing into it immediately. 

Viktor pulled back, looking at him with unfairly gorgeous eyes. 

“That was fun, yes?” 

Yuuri grinned at him, and nodded. 

“Yeah, it was, after a few minutes.” 

Viktor bounced once excitedly. 

“Yes!” He exclaimed, squeezing Yuuri’s hand. Yuuri chuckled, and leaned forward to kiss him again. 

Viktor kissed him back, dropping his hand and using both to cradle Yuuri’s face. Yuuri’s hand that wasn’t still holding the phone held on to Viktor’s waist. 

 

Yuuri took long, deep breaths, hoping to quell the caterpillars. He went through part of his routine down the empty hallway. It was almost time for him to go on stage and perform. It wasn’t a legitimate performance. More of a practice than anything else. About twenty dance majors were sitting in the audience, and their job was to critique him, and give him advice about what he should do for the actual performance two months away. Among them was Viktor. 

It was bad enough he had to be judged by his peers, but  _ Viktor _ ? 

He felt shaky like...jello. 

You know that feeling like they say “the rug getting pulled out from under you”, which, Yuuri guessed, was probably relateable for some people, but how many people had  _ actually  _ had a rug pulled out from under them? Maybe he’d be surprised. But that didn’t matter. What- 

“Yuuri!” 

Yuuri whipped his head over. Professor Cialdini was calling him, head poking around from the doorway leading backstage. 

“Two minutes,” the professor called to him. 

Yuuri swallowed, and nodded. Professor Cialdini disappeared back through the door. 

Yuuri turned his head again. Resisted the urge to run. It didn’t help that the routine was way out of his comfort zone. Walked slowly towards the door. 

He walked out on stage, feeling the harsh lights on him, as well as the eyes of his twenty fellow dance majors. 

He walked to the middle of the stage, and looked out. He sought out Viktor before he really considered whether it was best to do so or not. His eyes found him before he reached a conclusion, as his song came on as well. 

Viktor smiled widely at him, waving like a five year old. 

Yuuri swallowed, then started moving. 

Then stopped. 

He froze.  _ He froze?!?!?!?! _

He had only freezed  _ once  _ before, when he was thirteen years old. Usually, he could at  _ least  _ make it through his goddamn routine! 

His eyes widened as he realized what he had done. He hadn’t moved for almost five seconds. His breathing picked up.

Yuuri’s head snapped up, only saw the glare of the lights. He sprinted off stage. 

 

His chest heaved, and he almost ran into the wall as he burst back into the hall he was trying not to have an anxiety attack in earlier. Now, he was having an anxiety attack. 

He pushed off from the wall and kept running. He practically dove into the bathroom, beginning to pace back and forth across the tiles before the door even closed. 

_ Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck _

He pushed his hands through his hair. Tears pooled in his eyes and he started crying. 

It was a miracle he had made it this far. These three years. God knows this wasn’t the first meltdown he had had, but  _ never  _ before on stage. Usually, he could shut it all out. Make it through his routine, force himself to be okay for the amount of time it took to dance and get off stage. 

Yuuri stopped pacing and slumped with his back against the wall, hiding his face in his hands. 

_ How was he supposed to be a dancer if he couldn’t even… _

The door of the bathroom burst open. Viktor stood there, chest rising and falling faster than usual. 

Yuuri stared at him, hands now down over the lower half of his face. 

“I-I…” Yuuri choked out, slightly muffled. 

Viktor’s gaze softened. He walked forward, and Yuuri’s teary eyes widened slowly as he came to stand directly in front of him. 

Yuuri lowered his gaze to the floor, fae screwing up and hands curling in fists. 

“ _ How am I supposed to be a dancer _ ?” Yuuri asked in a quiet, watery voice. “I can’t even-can’t even-” Yuuri gasped, and sobbed. 

Viktor’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him to his chest and tucked him under his chin. Yuuri sobbed into his shirt, dreams that were never gonna happen bearing down on him, making him feel too heavy. 

“Yuuri…” Viktor said slowly, softly. 

Yuuri hiccuped, hands fisting in Viktor’s shirt. 

He distantly heard Viktor shushing him soothingly, his hand stroking up and down his back. 

“I can’t do this.  _ I can’t do this _ , Viktor!” 

Viktor pulled back, tilted Yuuri’s face up and starting to  wipe tears away with his thumbs. 

“How can you say that?” Viktor asked, holding Yuuri’s stare with his own. “Yuuri, what happened?” 

Yuuri sniffed, looking away. 

“I froze.” 

“Why did you freeze, Yuuri?” Viktor asked. 

Yuuri bit his lip, then stopped when he remembered how ugly it made him look. He exhaled a shaky breath. 

“I-...I didn’t want to disappoint you,” he said, stealing himself and looking back up at Viktor. 

Viktor stared at him, expression slight shocked. He finally spoke after a few seconds had passed. 

“What do you mean?” 

Yuuri scoffed, pulling away slightly. 

“You’re incredible, Viktor,” Yuuri answered, flushing slightly and ducking his head momentarily. “Dancing is your life, and if you didn’t like mine I...I don’t know, Viktor.” 

“Yuuri…” Viktor started, hand coming up to rest on the other man’s cheek, tilting his head up again and looking him in the eyes. “You could never disappoint me with your dancing. I  _ love  _ your dancing,” he said so sincerely it hurt. Yuuri turned an even darker shade of red. 

“I am  _ always  _ so impressed by you, I...Yuuri, you’re  _ gorgeous _ . And brilliant, and amazing, and I’d rather watch you dance for the rest of my life than do anything else.” 

Yuuri wide eyes filled once again with tears that were, in his opinion, getting rather old. He lifted his hand and rubbed his nose, blinking furiously to try to get the crying to stop. 

“Shut up,” Yuuri said without meaning it, and leaned forward to bury his face against in Viktor’s chest again. Viktor held him tightly. 

“You can do this, Yuuri. I’m on your side no matter what.” 

Yuuri groaned at his sweet words, hitting his chest lightly. 

“Stop being so good,” he said, muffled into the fabric of his shirt. 

Viktor smiled down at him. Yuuri pulled back, and looked up at him. Viktor brushed away the remnants of his tears. 

“You wanna try again?”   
Yuuri’s eyes widened. 

“After I froze like that?!” He exclaimed, staring up at his boyfriend wildly. 

Viktor shrugged and nodded. 

“Yes. They don’t care.” 

Yuuri continued to stare.

Viktor smiled, pressing his thumb gently against the corner of Yuuri’s mouth. 

“I still wanna see you dance.” 

Viktor leaned down, and kissed him. When he pulled back, Yuuri swore he had been melted. 

“Please?” Viktor asked, eyebrow raising adorably. 

 

The song came on again as Yuuri stood on stage for the second time. 

He started moving, and this time, he didn’t stop. His head was clearer this time. 

He went through the minute and thirty second routine, hesitating only slightly before some moves, but he hoped it wasn’t obvious. He tried to ignore it when some of his moves earned him some cheering from his classmates, cheeks burning slightly. 

But the longer he was dancing, the easier it became, and after the first thirty seconds, it was like all the times he spent practicing in the studio. Just him, and the song, and his body moving. 

By the end of the minute and thirty second routine, it had him sweating, chest heaving slightly. 

His classmates cheered. He watched Viktor bounce to his feet from his seat in the front row, yelling excitedly. 

Yuuri grinned slightly, waving at his peers a bit awkwardly as he walked to the front of the stage and jumped down. Professor Cialdini came up to him, clapping him on the back. 

“Great job, Yuuri. We’ll workshop you tomorrow with the rest of your group.” 

Yuuri smiled slightly, a bit nervously. Instructor Cialdini smiled at him and walked away to let Pichitt know he was up next. 

Next, Viktor came up to him. Yuuri didn’t have time to do anything as Viktor wrapped his arms around him and spun him around. 

“That was wonderful, Yuuri! You were fantastic! I don’t think I’ve ever seen something like that from you! I understand why you were nervous, but there was absolutely no reason to be! You absolutely killed it! Oh my God!” 

Yuuri laughed nervously, pulling away slightly from Viktor, who grinned widely at him. He put his hands on Yuuri’s shoulder. 

“I’m so proud of you, Yuuri,” he said. 

Fuck, Viktor really did just want to make him cry all the time. 

Yuuri cupped Viktor’s face, and leaned up to kiss him. 

“Thanks.” 

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to see what Yuuri's routine looks like, watch the YouTube video I did lol. Below is the name of it so...copy and paste that shit into YouTube if you want because I don't think links work. 
> 
> Never Be The Same - Camila Cabello | Choreography by Zachary Venegas 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> Come talk to me on Tumblr: tastethemotherfuckingrainbow


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